Are you wondering when I will learn what? Well I'm going to tell you...When will I learn that I can't force my Sister and Dad to form a better relationship? I can't make my sister forgive Dad for the things that he has done in the past no more than I can make him apologize for not being there at times when we were younger. I have forgiven Dad for so much and have become extremely close to him in the past few years. I don't like going days without talking to him. I have always hoped that my Sister and Dad would get there to or even close to there. Well it's sadly probably not going to happen! They are both very stubborn and my Dad did something to my Sister that she may never forgive him for. When she was 16 or 17 he signed away custody so he wouldn't have to pay child support because he didn't agree with her riding bulls. She has never came out and said it but I know that hurt her more than anything and to be honest it hurt me to but not the same way. I don't want you all to think I have some dead beat Dad, its not like that. Financially Dad was always there and always tried to help out Mom when he could, but my parents divorced when my sister was 3 months old so they have never really bonded like Dad and I did.
The reason all of this is coming up after 7 years is because of my little brother who is 10. Actually he will be 10, tomorrow is birthday party and my sister isn't coming. She is cleaning on their new house which I think is great but she was going to come today and see him but didn't. She said she is uncomfortable and honestly still holds a grudge against Dad. Now if you've read my post before my Sister is EVERYTHING to me, I mean she is my person, always there for me and supports me. I want my little brother to experience that as well .So I find myself trying to make their relationship out of the few times the my sister does come up here. So, when will I learn? I guess today! I cant make my Sister and Dad's relationship better only they can and I cant make my Sister and Brother close time will tell that on its own. It's hard trying to be the fixer in a family like mine, especially because I'm the one who gets upset when it doesn't work out. For now I am going to call my Sister back and make sure she is okay because I can't stand that she is hurting over something I brought up.
Hmmm... do you really think you learnt today? I mean... won't you try again in the future? You're an optimist and you want everyone to get along. I don't think you'll ever give up.
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to tell you how much I relate to this post. My dad was a great person, but he made a lot of mistakes in his life. My sisters had a hard time understanding him, and therefore couldn't let go or forgive. I was always daddy's girl, so I never let go, never gave up.
ReplyDeleteIt was so hard to see them turn on him, and I wanted to push them to let it all go.
Then one day he died. He just had a heart attack and died immediately. They never got to mend things with him, and it made their grief even that much harder.
I still to this day wish I could have done something to make it different, but I know that they had to do what they had to do to cope.
Anyway, long story just to say, I get it!
Christina, you know me so well.
ReplyDeleteSummer, my Dad had a heart attack a few years ago and is doing fine now but one of my biggest fears is that something will happen to him and my Sister will never get the chance to mend their relationship. Thank you for reading and commenting:)