Children of Divorced Parents

I'm really not even sure how to start this post because I have so much emotion tied into it. I don't think I can get it across but here goes....My parents are divorced. It happened when I was 3 and my sister was just a few months old, so a long time ago. It really sucked at times but my sister and I endured. This post is not about me and my childhood trials, but about other children of divorced parents. I actually seen an Oprah show on this topic a long while back, DVR'd it and kept it for a VERY long time because I felt like she was talking about me and my experiences. It was like a do's and dont's for parents getting divorced. Most of this seemed common sense to me but apparently isn't. I felt like anyone getting divorced that had children should have to take a course in "how to remain a mature adult after divorce." However so far this course is not a requirement. I have this need and want to help kids who are going through this. It can be so hard feeling like your put in the middle or if you have fun with one parent you are betraying the other. Children don't choose for their parents to get divorced and its unfair for them to have to feel like they must choose sides between Mom and Dad. They are often forgot about even from other family members because everyone gets wrapped up in the ugly divorce. Children of divorce of all ages need a voice.

Right now this is hitting close to home with someone I am very close to. I am seeing this parent that I love make huge mistakes and act like a child. They cant seem to get past the hurt and are taking all of it out on their children. They are making them choose and trying to hurt their ex but only hurting the kids. I am sorry but you don't turn your back on your kids and just say that "your done". They have done nothing more than to deal the best way they can with whats happened to them. It may not always be right but they are young adults and are trying to find the way. The divorce happened long enough ago that its time to move on with the pity party and pick yourself up. We are all dealt a bad hand of cards at one point in our life and how we choose to play those cards makes us who we are. Better or worse is your decision. I have talked to this person and others close to this person until I am blue in the face and until my blood pressure is boiling over. I am only 26 and cant understand why this seems so common sense to me but others are blinded by anger and resentment. I consider myself a very level headed person but I won't stand by and pretend that I don't see whats going on any more.

I am not sure if the person I am writing this about or if anyone that is going through a divorce even will read this but if so I am begging you to take a step back and look at the big picture. Put yourself in your children's shoes and try to see things how they would.

I am not trying to say I have any clue what it is like to be going through a divorce and pray I never do. I am just writing from personal experiences in dealing with having divorced parents. Thank you all for reading this really long post but it is close to my heart and wanted to share it with you all.